Loss is a fact of life on a farm. A baby goat dies during birth, a dog in her prime contracts leukemia, the Houdini rabbit escapes and gets run over by a car and the matriarch hen succumbs to old age. Death and loss are just facts of life. Death is not a respecter of age or breed or our hard work. You have to figure that if you have animals, eventually you’re going to encounter some form of loss.
Our job as farmers and pet owners is to look after the animals in our charge to the best of our ability; to provide food and water, attend to medical needs, and give them attention. It’s very easy to get attached to our animals. I think it’s human nature to become enamored with those we nurture. A young hen has recently endeared herself to me. Every morning she escapes the safety of her run, heads to a secluded nest she has made for herself, lays an egg and then waits for me to come and let her back into the chicken coop for breakfast and to join her friends. Her antics make me smile and I look forward to her daily greetings. If I don’t encounter her when I head out to the coop, my heart skips a beat until I locate her.
It is ok for a farmer or pet owner to grieve the loss of a pet or beloved farm animal: the trusty steed, the hardworking cattle dog, the diligent milk goat, even a flock of egg laying hens! According to the American Veterinary Medical Association, actively grieving the loss of a furry four-legged, or fluffy two-legged friend is normal and healthy. In fact, it’s healthier to work through your feelings of sorrow, anger, and betrayal rather than try to push those feelings into the background and ignore them. It’s good to talk about your feelings, get the support of others who have experienced something similar, and remember and reminisce the fun experiences you had with your animal friend. Raising animals and encountering death can help children understand compassion and caring, and help them learn to process grief in a healthy manner…an important life lesson.
The AVMA also recommends that your remember that grief can’t be ranked. You can’t compare the loss of your favorite hen with your friends loss of their family dog. Recognize that some people just won’t understand your feelings, saying things like “oh, it’s just a dog”, or “it’s just a chicken”. The attachment and bond you felt with your animal was real and some people might have difficulty understanding such a unique relationship. Know that there will be an emptiness for a time. Just as things changed when the animal entered your life, things will change when they leave. There might be silence where there was once noise. You will miss the companionship of the faithful animal who followed you everywhere. If you cared for a sick, injured or special needs animal, you’ll find yourself wondering how to fill that time you would have spent with your animal. Understand that your grief is real and that it’s ok.
You might notice that some of your other animals will also mourn the loss of their friend or companion. We raised two sister Nubian does since they were a couple of weeks old. They were inseparable! When Spring started to show the tell-tale signs of old age, her sister Jasmine stayed by her side. When Spring was gone, Jasmine appeared lost for a time and actually seemed to lose her place in the goat herd hierarchy. As it is with people, I hope that it is with animals as well, time heals all wounds…and a little extra attention doesn’t hurt either.
Sometimes Nature prepares us for a loss. If our favored pet gets sick, or injured, we might be afforded the opportunity to care for them. Our pet might respond well to our love and efforts and recover. Other times, our best efforts are futile and we know that the end is coming. We might have to make the difficult decision of letting Nature take her course or ending an animal’s suffering. The decision to end a life is not an easy one, nor one that should be taken lightly. It pulls at the heart strings as you pit fate against hope. As hard as it is, once you have decided don’t second guess your decision or yourself. Allowing a suffering animal to feel peace is not something to feel guilty about. Know that the choice you made was in the best interest of your loved animal and move forward.
Loss doesn’t necessarily mean death. One year we had a young turkey hen come and hang out with us. I called her Jenny. She had a crooked beak and I thought maybe that’s why she came. Food was plentiful and easier to forage. She stayed for a couple of years, long enough for me to become attached to her. I figured out her likes and dislikes and where she preferred to roost. Then one day she left. No warning, no note. Just gone. I like to think that she headed off in search of her knight in iridescent feathering! Still, she was gone and I missed her. I kept watch for a few weeks, hoping she’d come back home, but she never did.
We all express our grief in different ways, it’s an individual process. Some people might just be a little sad and down, others may shed some tears, and still others could feel anger. Whatever your emotions, the process of working through your loss, and then moving forward is a good thing – no matter how long it takes. I find that reflecting on all the wins and good times help me through the rough times. Focus on the new baby chicks, plan for a new puppy, enjoy the animals that you still have around. Whatever journey your grief takes you on, know that it is healthy to be open about and deal with your feelings. And know that the day will come when you can remember that beloved pet with fond memories and love, and it won’t hurt so bad. It might even make you smile.
Source:
https://www.avma.org/public/PetCare/Pages/pet-loss.aspx